Don’t eat just to gain weight. Eat to
be healthy and/or fuel yourself.
Part of the reason why I started this website is because as a population, weight gain is an issue. For most of my adult life, I have always been about 100 pounds. At one point in my life, I lost 15 pounds due to stress and I had to go to a doctor. The doctor told me I needed to eat, so I really ate as much as I could a minimum of 3 times a day. I gained 20 lbs and went up to 105 pounds, but I needed to eat all day long. Who has time to eat all day long! Back then I had a more time on my hands, but now I am very active. Who has time to eat all day long? I fluctuate between 100-105 pounds, but part of the reason why I consider myself underweight is because no matter what I eat I basically stay between 100-105 pounds. I no longer desire to eat just to gain weight. Now I eat to keep myself healthy and to give myself energy for the things I do. There was a time when my sister suggested building muscle mass because muscle weighs more than fat, and of course it’s healthier. I was never into lifting weights and working out at the gym, but I do like being active in sports. A weight-training program may be an option for some naturally thin people so they can gain the pounds in muscles and not fat. However, my cholesterol is good, my blood pressure is low and I’d like to keep it that way. Research is updating and changing our perspective on what is healthy and not healthy for you. My suggestion is to do some research and find what best works for you in terms of diet and nutrition. I’m still working on my dietary regimen, because from time to time I do skip meals and eat junk food, but one thing I know is that I do not eat just to gain weight.
Try not to hide behind your clothes, but accentuate your best ThinBeautiful quality. Find a look that works for you and keep it, but don’t be afraid to experiment with color, cut, and retail availability.
People think that just because your naturally thin everything fits you perfectly. Wrong! The fact is that clothes don’t always fit properly and sometimes the sizes don’t fit our every need-as with any other shopper. Whether the clothes are too long, too short, and too big or whatever, most times shopping for clothes is a difficult thing. However, the point is to feel good about how you look and what you wear.
I used to hide behind my clothes because I hated my legs. I thought that if I covered my legs, no one would know that I was skinny. Wrong. What does a child know about camouflage anyway? As a result, all my skirts had to be long and I was more comfortable in pants. As an adult, most of my clothes consisted of long skirts and pants. I didn’t own any short skirts and had a couple pairs of shorts. I used to shop in vintage stores and bought 70’s styled long skirts. I found the skirts gave me the length that I needed while adding a unique style to my wardrobe. I shopped at vintage stores, Good Will, Salvation Army, and other second hand stores. I have quite a few beautiful and unique pieces. Sizing was different in the 70’s, so chances are finding your size is not a problem. Another place I have shopped for clothes is a children’s store. To me there is very little difference between size 1 adults and 16 children’s. Being on the short side of the thin spectrum makes it easier to shop in the children’s department. Other than being a little embarrassing, it can be an option to some of us ThinBeautiful women. As for any guys reading this website, I am not sure if shopping in the children’s department may be too appealing to you, but you could sure try any of the advice if it will make shopping easier.
Experiment with color and cut. I love colorful clothing, it makes me feel good and the point is to feel good about what you wear. I also have a variety of cuts, which accentuate parts of my body that I really like. I wear sleeveless shirts, V-necks, and backless tops because I think I have nice shoulders, upper-arms and back…now I wear short skirts and shorts too. And remember no matter where you shop and what you shop for, try to shop in places where you can try on your clothes or have a good return policy.
Do the best job you can at loving yourself first. Afterwards, when it comes to finding a partner, you’ll be more able to find a partner that is suitable for you. Also choose a partner that loves you for you, no matter what your size may be.
I am a little different than most
women. I spent most of my twenties and early thirties voluntarily
single and celibate. I used to see men from time to time, but I
wasn’t really “dating” anyone. I used
that time to get better acquainted with myself. I never felt alone or
lonely because I knew what my agenda was. I had a lot of issues with
being skinny and I was never confident that my being skinny was not an
issue for the other person. So I was really okay being alone and
working my “skinny” issues out. Finally at age 32,
I worked on myself enough to be able to accept a partner into my
life…and guess what, he loved me for me.
Examine the adjectives for thin and either break free of the adjectives or embrace them.
Examine what those adjectives mean to you whether they are positive, negative, or neutral. How do those adjectives make you feel about yourself? Words are very powerful and sometimes we create from negativity, which prevent us from accepting ourselves fully. Look at how the words we choose to accept for ourselves-whether self-prescribed or given by others-either help us love ourselves or keep us from loving ourselves. Make a decision to only choose good things.
For me, I hated being “skinny”, “bony”, “chicken legs”, and “toothpick”. However, I didn’t mind being “thin” or “underweight”. I spent a lot of time allowing other people’s words to make me feel badly about myself. I also spent a lot of time identifying my whole my body and self-concept by my legs. I decided I didn’t want to do that any more, so now I make a choice to think good things about myself.
Make a list of things that you like about your body and don’t like about your body…then love all of your body for its capabilities, amazingness, and uniqueness.
Although most others would assume that naturally thin people don’t have any problems because we don’t have America’s weight issue…we don’t always love being our size. I read in a women’s magazine that we should make a good and bad list of our body parts. So on one of my spiritual retreats, I made this list. What I realized was that I liked more than I disliked and then almost within that thought, I thought about how amazing my body was anyway and I was thankful for all of it.
Do something that honors your thinness and enhances your self-concept.
I used to loathe being thin until I took a belly dancing class. Finally I was able to be in my own skin without constantly comparing myself to other women. It was a dance that I felt confident doing and it made me feel beautiful, elegant, sexy, and powerful all at the same time. I was able to free myself from some of the constraints I felt. Years later, I also took a pole dancing class and I loved how I felt in that class too. Both of those dance styles are for women and are most size friendly. They really helped me get in touch with my feminine dance energy. So whatever you do for yourself, whether it’s a dance class or a karate class, do something that makes you feel happy and good about yourself.
Create your own self-concept and self-worth to go by and do the things that honor who you are and whom you want to be.
What I mean by self-concept is your view on yourself in different aspects of your life. I have allowed other people’s concepts of thin to mar my self-concept. I decided that I no longer want to do that and am now in the process of creating how I’d like to view myself. Most time other people’s unhappiness (or ignorance) about themselves was projected unto me by their words and I accepted them as my truths. What do you know about creating self-concepts as a child? As an adult, I have decided to reject what I no longer want to feel about myself. Sometimes it works well and sometimes it doesn’t-it’s a process. But at least I know I have the choice to accept or reject what doesn’t honor me in how I’m creating myself now.
Define what you mean by loving yourself and do those things. Remember it’s a process. Sometimes you will be more loving to yourself than other times…and that’s ok. Live and learn.
Additionally, here are 7 more life lessons that I have
been learning that I would like to share with you. I wrote them during
a period of reflection, I might have written them differently under my
self-esteem and self-concept topic.
What self-responsibility means:
- Developing awareness of your own patterns-physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Discovering your real needs and finding ways to meet them directly.
- Realizing that you are unique and the expert about myself.
- Making choices and living courageously in the midst of uncertainty.
- Creating the life you want rather than just reacting to whatever comes along.
- Creating and nourishing close relationships with others.
- Engaging in projects that are meaningful to you.